I Sing When I'm Uncomfortable.

I've been known to sing loudly, off key, in public places. This has often landed me the role as the "annoying freak in the back of the room", and I'll be honest, I'm quite fine with that position. I fit it pretty perfectly, I do think.

But yeah, I do sing kind of a lot, which sucks mostly because I can't sing, like at all, but also because I sing songs that no one on earth, or at least in my school, has ever heard of except for me. I sing songs that fit into the genre of "alternative", and most people in my school like pop and rap and other things that make me want to vomit. I've also been known to sing songs such as "I Know" by the lovely Hank Green and "Bread" by beautiful Charlie McDonnell. *swoon*

I really don't sing just to annoy people, though. Although I do enjoy doing that, it's not like annoying everyone on the face of the earth is my life goal. I just sing when I'm uncomfortable. Which is, unfortunately, quite often.

Really, I'm just kind of an anti-social, paste-eating-kind-of-special kid who is always uncomfortable with everything going on in the world.

So if one day out of nowhere you see a nerdy girl with a raccoon hat on singing "I want to be a starship ranger..." slightly (read: extremely) off-key, feel free to say hi.

I want to have the things they've gottttttt

Electric Ukulele...my baby

Today I bought (read: begged my grandpa to buy me one and promised to pay him back) my very own electric ukulele. Her name is Norah, and she is beautiful.

She's amazing. Even when I screw up on her (that's what she said), she still sounds amazing. She is fantastically beautiful in every single way. I might take her to bed with me. Except probably not.

I still need to buy an amp...but she still sounds great without one. But if I do, I might even *gulp* enter in the talent show. MIGHT.

I've already uploaded some music which you may find here. I'll post a picture tomorrow/some time in the near future.

I'm going to stop typing now and get back to playing my new beauty.

I Hate Being Touched.

I like to think I'm a pretty normal person. And by pretty normal, I mean yes I am completely crazy but at least I occasionally sleep. But one thing that is apparently even more "not normal" and "crazy" (just to give an example of some words I hear every single day) is that I hate being touched.

The occasional hug is fine, if not too awkward, and high fives are kind of childish but acceptable. But I don't like being poked or patted on the back or hugged awkwardly or anything.

Some people like to make me feel uncomfortable by giving me extra long hugs and some people (*cough my father cough*) still haven't realize that I hate when they give me hugs.

My dad's convinced that I'm only against his hugs and that I must let my boyfriend hug me, right? That would be wrong. I do sometimes hug my boyfriend, but...not often. I've realized that I'm probably hurting his feelings and I should just suck it up, but sometimes I just can't.

Why does society even need hugs? WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL THIS TOUCHING EACH OTHER?

Why would I even want to be hugged after seeing this? 

Goodbye November, Hello Jared.

As you probably remember, this year I joined the insanity that is NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month, the challenge to write a novel - 50,000 words - in a month.
And just last night, around 9:30, I hit my 50,000 words with a big, bold THE END and a little dance in my kitchen. I'll definitely miss November. It was a crazy, insane month that delivered several headaches and plenty of C's on tests, but I loved every minute of it.

This is the first year that I finished. Last year was my first try entering, but I didn't even get past 10,000 words. This year, I made it all the way and a day early! I have a lot of editing to do, but I get my best friend back to help me - Jared. Yes, I did name my inner editor.
Anyway, I just wanted to let my one, count her, one reader know that I'll be blogging more actively now that National Novel Writing Month is over.I thought of several things to talk about and it killed me to not be able to blog. But I knew if I did, I'd go blog-crazy and completely forget my novel. So I shall be back, dear reader. Glad to be back. :3

Beware, November

So with one day left until November, I realized how scared I actually am of it. I always talk about how excited I am, I always count down the days, I always act like I'm confident in November, but honestly? It scares the poop out of me.

If you're unaware, November is National Novel Writing Month, or as most of us call it, NaNoWriMo, Thirty Days and Nights of Literary Abandon. Basically, the souls of writers explode as they race to write 50,000 words of a very crappy manuscript. At the end, we've written a novel, or most of one anyway, and, although it's just a first draft and filled with typos and cliche characters and bad plots, it's a novel and we're proud (and tired)



I always say that November is my favorite month, aside from July of course (the only month when I'm actually warm), but honestly? It terrifies me. What if I fail? What if my novel is really bad, like worse than a first draft is supposed to be? What if I'm not meant to be a writer? What if I'm not meant to be anything and I can't get a job and I can't pay for food or a house and I die alone on the street?

But if you ask me, I'll probably tell you that I just love November. I mean sure, it's a lot of stress, but writing is FUN. F is for friends who do stuff togeth - Sorry. Habit.

And maybe November will be fun...in December. But until then, wish me luck, readers.

I Identify Better With The Bad Guys

When I was eight, I was addicted to Annie. I'm pretty sure every little girl went through this phase, or at least one similar. Even to this day, sometimes I'll be in a bad mood and dig out my Annie soundtrack and rock out to "Tomorrow".
Except my favorite character wasn't Annie or even Daddy Warbucks, which would at least make sense as the father I always wanted instead of my own. No no no, no normality for me. At the age of eight, my favorite character from Annie was Miss Hannigan.

I don't know why it is, but my favorite characters in almost anything are the bad guys. Maybe I just ate more paste than the rest of the kids or maybe I'm just destined to be the bad guy myself. All I know is that, on my ninth birthday, I decided I wanted to put on a show for my family, and what better to do than sing a song from my favorite movie? So I sang Little Girls and (as a little girl) sang about how much I hated children and wished they were outlawed. And I sang about how much I wanted a man to nibble on my ear (whatever the hell that means as I remember thinking).
My entire family thought that one was pretty funny, but you don't tell a nine year old that a) she can't sing and b) she's singing about how much she hates herself, not when she's as determined/insane and maybe a tad cute as I was.
So I went on for the rest of the year humming that song in my mind. Eventually the Annie phase passed, but sometimes I'll be sitting silently in art class and suddenly break out into song (which always confuses the girl sitting next to me, who happens to be a German exchange student and has never seen Annie).
But even today, my favorite characters are the bad ones. The only death I cried at in the last movie of Harry Potter was Bellatrix. I cried like a baby when she died, while everyone else around me stood up and clapped and whisted and "Woo-Hoo!"-ed.
My favorite character in Beauty and the Beast is the beast, but only before his character is ruined with love sickness for that bitch.
Who gives a crap about Batman (or whoever that superhero is - see, I don't even know!), I love The Joker.
Maybe I'm just a bad guy at heart. Or maybe I just had a little bit too much paste.

Why I Hate Alarm Clocks.

I hate alarm clocks. Sometimes I feel like they just sit their, mocking me as I sleep, singing to themselves, "One more hour and I can ruin your entire day! Mua-ha-ha!" The fact is, alarm clocks were made by evil scientists who wish to rule the world by ruining everyone's day.
And I honestly do blame my alarm clock for ruining my day everyday, as well as the days of my family.

This is the cycle of my day, everyday:

My alarm clock does not go off, even though I set it the night before,

Because

It's just dumb like that.

So

I do not wake up on time

So

My mum has to wake me up

So

I am grumpy,

Because 

I am up late 

And

I have to rush

So

My mom is grumpy

Because 

I have to rush

So

She yells at my to hurry up

So

I yell back that I'm trying.

So 

My dad wakes up and is irritated

So

He yells at my mom to calm down

And

He yells at me to hurry up

So

I yell back

And

My mom yells back

So

My brother wakes up

And

He is also grumpy now

Because 

We are all yelling

So

He moves super slowly 

And 

So on

So

My mum and I finally leave

But

We're both grumpy, along with everyone else in our family

So 

I go to school

And

I feel like shit

So

I have a bad day

And

I'm grumpy

And

People are mad that I'm grumpy

So

I get a lot of crap from people

So

I'm even more grumpy

So

I come home

And

I find my mom has also had a bad day

Because

She was grumpy this morning

And

My brother had an even worse day

Because

He has sanity issues and is kinda crazy without being grumpy

But

He was grumpy 

And 

He went to school

And

He had a shitty day

And

He got in trouble

So

He is probably suspended or something

So

My mom is pissed

And 

My dad comes home

And

He also had a bad day

And 

Then he hears about my brother

And 

He is mad

At the same time

I am online

Because

I'm trying to calm down from my shitty day

But

I have homework and chores

And

They don't get done right away

So 

My mum and dad are more mad

So 

They yell at my brother and me

So

We yell back

So 

We get grounded

Meaning

I can't get online

So

I can't talk to people and get unstress-ified

So

I'm more stressed out

And

I stress everyone else out

So

Everyone is stressed out

And because of this

I forget again to fix my alarm clock before I go to bed.

See how it's the alarm clock's fault. SEE?